It was a dark and stormy n………
Oh sorry, I dosed off. You see I haven’t been getting my required seven or six or even five hours a night.
Last night I woke up after about an hour of sleep and I couldn’t fall back asleep. I didn’t want to get up so I began my maddening late night rituals in hope of sleep.
First, I flipped around every which way, feeling that if I found the right position I would drift back to the Land of Nod. I did this until my head was literally at the bottom of the bed. I did find a quarter and a lost sock but I didn’t find rest.
The second thing I did was to mentally run through all the possible reasons my sleep was disrupted.
- Caffeine. I drank the last of college girl’s Diet Dr. Pepper last week. I’m off the hard stuff until she returns.
- Spicy food. Husband is out-of-town so a peanut butter and banana sandwich was last night’s gourmet dinner of choice.
- Alcohol. It may help you sleep or it may keep you up. I’ve heard both theories, so I never know, but I went to bed quite sober.
- Disturbing television shows. This is occasionally the case because I love a good scare as long as it doesn’t involve eviscerated humans, but not last night. Since hubby is out-of-town the TV was off and I read a non-disturbing book before bed.
- Exercise. My shiny new elliptical spent yesterday all alone in the dark basement.
- Symphony of snores. No hubby, no snoring.
The third thing I did was to swear I would develop a routine. I dream (if I sleep) about a routined life. I vowed to start getting in bed at the same time every night. Currently I may go to bed anytime from 11pm to 3am. I’m a night owl who struggles to keep regular hours. I can keep up a routine for a while and then hubby leaves town and I fall back into my vampirish behavior.
I’ve thought about adding the counting of sheep to my sleep routine. I’ve heard of this all my life but frankly, I know of no one that actually uses this sleep-inducing process. I’m sure this odd ovine-related tactic started with those old-time shepherds watching over their flocks, but really, shouldn’t they stay awake? A lot of sheep predators are nocturnal.
Maybe I could include a warm beverage into my nighttime ritual, except, warm milk sounds gross to me. So does cold milk. Hot, decaffeinated tea is a better choice. I could make a second cup for the Sandman.
As a related side-note, the Sandman has always disturbed me. As a child, I couldn’t believe my parents were going to let a strange man in my bedroom at night to put sand in my eyes. Where did that get started? When I think of restful sleep, it never involves tiny, gritty specks of dirt in my eyes.
See, I’ve already lost my train of thought on developing a routine. A short attention span accompanies my sleep deprivation.
I’m open to any advice here. I’m accustom to the quiet of an empty-nest, so that’s not the problem. And no, I’m not worried about things like the world ending in 2012. I have no major deadlines coming up. Sadly, I lead a somewhat mundane life. The most excitement I had this week was seeing that “The Artist” is showing at a movie theater within sixty miles of where I live. Trust me, I never expected the chance to see it on the big screen after my big “The Descendants” disappointment.
Am I rambling again?
It was a dark and stormy n…………..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.