I’m 100% Sure it Can’t be 2012

And how is it that I know it isn’t 2012?  Easy, twelve years couldn’t have passed since the whole Y2K scare.  It’s seems like just yesterday I was storing bottles of water and canned goods in the garage.  We were told when the clocks rang in the new millennium, stores would close because of computer malfunctions.  I stored extra toilet paper in every closet.  Actually I still hoard toilet paper.  I think it’s because of mom and the  scare started by Johnny Carson in 1973. Check out this link for more information if you’re not familiar with this humorous over-reaction.  It may remind you of the Y2K thing.  http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/trivia74.html

English: The Logo Created by The President's C...

I remember 2006, 2009 and 2011 because I had children graduate from high school.  2010 happened because one finished college.  I’ll concede at least four years have passed.  And in the early 2000′s I may have lost a couple of years and, to answer your question, no,  alcohol wasn’t involved.  I lost the first year to what I call the ‘Twelve Month Sugar Fog’.   I made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight. As I’ve stated before, I’m not good with the pressure of resolutions.   I told myself I’d start a diet when the Christmas candy was gone and then the Valentine candy and then the Easter candy and then the ‘end of the year school party’ candy and then the ‘summer visiting grandparents’ candy and then the school lunch candy and then the Halloween candy, and, before I knew it we were back to Christmas.  Again, I was in a fog most of the time and, yes, you’re correct in assuming I’m not above stealing chocolate from my children.

As I came down from my sugar high, I rolled into the next year.  I call it  the ‘Fast of Guilt Year’.  The extreme loss of calories and a lack of sugar flowing through my veins kept me in a daze the whole year.  But it had to be done  after the ‘Sugar Fog’ fiasco.  I survived on diet coke and yogurt during the fast.  I don’t remember much more.  I lost weight but I also nearly lost my mind.  Some reading this post might say I did lose my mind.

The Time Thief by Zak Ové

The Time Thief by Zak Ove' Image by ana gasston via Flickr

If you’re keeping up, I will agree, six years have possibly passed.  I’ll go seven for good measure, but twelve- no way.  I’ve read a lot about conspiracies lately and I think we are victims of the 2000 Time Conspiracy.  After seeing the image above, it all came together.  A Time Thief is stealing our minutes and seconds.  Every night when we sleep, he takes an hour or two.  It explains why we wake up tired even when we think we got a full night’s sleep.  I bet it’s happened to you.

And how many times have you said, “Where did the day go?”  Bingo-Time Thief.

Sometimes when your driving, don’t you look up and twenty miles have passed and you have daydreamed right through them?  That doesn’t sound safe, does it?  It’s easy to do if you live  in Texas. The roads are long and flat and the towns are miles and miles apart.  (Note-if any Texas DPS officers read this, remember, I’m a writer, I make this stuff up.)  Everyone else, in largely populated areas, it happens.  I think the Time Thief is involved.

Now I can’t explain how this Time Thief has coordinated all of this and why we all still stay on the same calendar but there’s something happening here.  We need to stop his shenanigans now.  It’s going to be 2025 in the blink of an eye.  Do  you know how old I’ll be in 2025? This has to stop.

Signed- An Empty Nester with Too Much Time (or not enough) on Her Hands

About these ads

46 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Goss Coaching
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 07:50:54

    I had never heard of the 1973 toilet paper shortage. How funny! Perhaps time is flying because you are having so much fun . . . Sugar bog aside.

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Jan 07, 2012 @ 08:34:13

      My mom had rolls and rolls of toilet paper. We were not going to get caught with our pants down (so to speak). Thanks for reading. I think I was reading your blog as you were reading mine.

      Reply

  2. Elaine
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 10:59:08

    Oh, yes, I remember the Y2K craziness.

    I had a friend, who 5 years after the event was still using up supplies she had stockpiled. She had a bar on her front door to keep people from breaking into her house (her windows were unbarred, however), and she got a dog from the pound and called it MIlly. Milly was a very friendly dog as it turns out and would not have stopped any intruders.

    Humans are just crazy creatures.

    Takes for the moment to remember.

    Reply

  3. delores
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 11:53:18

    I’m following you pretty well on the time thief thing until I look in the mirror and see what the passage of time has done to me…
    anyhooo….
    thanks so much for dropping in on the tormented scribe

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Jan 07, 2012 @ 13:40:40

      You’re right on that. The only nice thing is I can’t see well enough anymore to know how bad it really is. Thank you so much for stopping in.

      Reply

  4. kelly
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 13:17:21

    i agree time flies! but at my house we are sooo over the y2k thing, and now focused (or obsessed as in the case of my daughter) on the end of the world this year according to the 2012 mayan calendar. LOL :)

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Jan 07, 2012 @ 13:25:05

      That’s so funny. My oldest son is there too. I really had’t thought about Y2K until a friend mentioned and I couldn’t come to terms with the whole twelve years. Hence, the post. Thank you for stopping by.

      Reply

  5. thesevengatesfarm
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 15:11:56

    Alot of time has flown by, goodness. I actually thought my husband was the only one preparing for Y2K. You would not BELIEVE what we stored up. I look back and really hoot. Hard to believe daughter graduated, bought a house and is self sufficient. Time does fly! Debi

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Jan 07, 2012 @ 15:36:52

      You must be so proud. I have one on his own and two in college. In 2000, I had three at home still buying into the whole ‘mom knows best’ thing. What a difference 12 (or maybe less) years can make.

      Reply

  6. whatimeant2say
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 18:28:59

    If the Time Thief would only steal my wrinkles while he was at it…

    Reply

  7. momshieb
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 19:00:21

    Hahaha! Great post!
    I still have a few bottles of water (how long do they last, anyway??) in my basement.
    But I agree with you; time is absolutely NOT passing as quickly as those damn fake calendars would have us think…..
    No Way.

    Reply

  8. rose
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 19:19:19

    The Time Thief…I like that.

    Reply

  9. PM
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 21:54:55

    happy new year. first time to hear the passing of time as time thief. me thinks it’s brilliant. it’s interesting how y2k has gone and now 2012 end of the world is all the rage. it can really be crazy. let’s just keep it together though!

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Jan 07, 2012 @ 22:15:05

      We do tend to over-react and this 2012 thing could cause an uproar. Thanks for reading my post. I loved your information on fish and lions in your blog. I will giggle everytime I pass an aquarium.

      Reply

  10. worrywarts-guide-to-weight-sex-and-marriage
    Jan 08, 2012 @ 01:25:36

    What day is it today? :-)
    My children graduated 2007, 2009, and 2011 (and then college 2011). Perhaps, if we combine our lost years we’ll somehow get some time back.

    Reply

  11. Diane
    Jan 08, 2012 @ 14:33:18

    Totally agree. I think the time thief is more active with some people, though. I got lost sometime before the century turned. I’m still stuck with having to remind myself that the year does NOT begin with the numerals ’1′ and ’9′. And, to make matters even scarier, in those non-existent 12 years, five of my six children married and had (nearly) 12 grandchildren. Where am I?

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 10:20:11

      You are busy. My goodness, how your life has changed in twelve years. I too have had trouble transitioning from “19–’. Thanks for reading.

      Reply

  12. The Hook
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 11:00:14

    Good luck wrapping your head around reality – such as it is – my friend!

    Reply

  13. drollgirl
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 14:18:08

    the time thief has done a number on a lot of people! i can’t even believe it is already january 11. or that i am as old as i am. why does time pass so quickly, yet the work day seems ENDLESS?! argh.

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 21:28:39

      Good point. The work day can seem endless. If I’m waiting for one of my children to call and let me know they are safely at a destination, that sometimes feels like a lifetime. But the last twelve years passing really does seem impossible.

      Reply

  14. kianys
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 16:18:13

    Loved this post! Loved it! You had me smiling at the title, grinning at the Y2K scare (which I CAN remember) and by the end, since I spent a year of my life 12 years ago in TX (I’d swear you every oath there is, that it was only like 8 years ago max btw – time thief? I think you’re on to something!), I was full out laughing!

    Thank you for this!
    :) K.

    Reply

  15. Kitchen Slattern
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 11:20:37

    Y2k! The good old days when the biggest fear we had was that our computers would break down and we’d either get a week off work or double over time for trying to fix it. Good times. Thanks for the reminder!

    Reply

  16. Let's CUT the Crap!
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 16:57:24

    The last 12 years and the mirror thing are so true. Since 2012 began, my week has only two days: Sundays and Wednesdays so the time thief is working overtime here. I get up and it’s Sunday; I turn around and it’s already Wednesday.

    Speaking of time, last Sunday I realized I’ve lost 40 years somewhere. Got to have coffee with my first heart throb after 40 years (can’t even COUNT that high) this past Sunday. Holy Moley. I found myself in a time WARP!

    Great post. I almost fell off my chair (I was going to say wet myself) but I don’t know you very well) LOL

    Reply

  17. Let's CUT the Crap!
    Jan 13, 2012 @ 13:45:45

    I am pleased to present you with the Versatile Blogger Award. Details can be found at http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com/. Congratulations.

    Reply

  18. Grammy
    Jan 13, 2012 @ 21:43:49

    I really never gave it much thought, I do realize time fly’s but to say it has been stolen rather than wasted is possible. I use to like it when time flew by. but now that I am no longer on a time demand of my time. I need to learn to savor them moments. And I no longer fall pry to the scare tactics. I also wonder who sits back and laughs at the world when the past events did not happen as predicted.

    Sorry it has taken so long for me to visit.

    Reply

  19. Julie KP
    Jan 16, 2012 @ 12:14:19

    I’m sorry that I didn’t drop by earlier as I see that not only are we both empty nesters, but we also share fears about running out of squares! I’m looking forward to seeing more of you!

    Reply

  20. Trackback: A HUG To Cherish | Thirty Years Of Growing Pain(s)
  21. Ankur Mithal
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 02:06:21

    Ha ha ! Y2K brings back hilarious memories of how corporations reacted, or over-reacted. Doomsday scenarios of fire, riots, civil disobedience, tsunami (yes, tsunami….apparently the BIG computer would malfunction as well), as sold to our gullible organisation by our extremely wealthy (now) Y2K consultant.

    Reply

  22. tadams4u
    Feb 05, 2012 @ 18:13:24

    Awesome post…And so true. Now I at least know who has been making my life go by so fast these past 12 years. I remember being in high school and thinking how “old” I would be in the year 2000 (34). Now I look back and say, wow, I was so young in 2000. LOL

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Feb 05, 2012 @ 22:12:25

      You were a baby. I remember when my dad turned forty and I thought he was so old. When I turned 40 I felt completely different. It’s all relative. Thanks for reading.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Interesting Literature

A Library of Literary Interestingness

Chris Martin Writes

Pressing more into Jesus Christ everyday

Libby Lu

and her Point of View

redpoppyseeds

-And art? -It's a disease. -Love? -It's a disappointment -You are a sceptic. -Defining means limiting.

rajatkumar1069 (drrajatkumar)

I am a Chemistry Professor enjoying English Literary Criticism ,Poetry,Nature,Environment, Human psychology,Art,Intellect and Modern World.

Kindness Blog

Kindness Changes Everything...

32:17

"For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me"

Writing Between the Lines

Life From a Writer's POV

JANE THORNE

THOUGHTS FROM A WRITER ......

Muhammad Syanizam

Welcome to my life

maggiemaeijustsaythis

Poetry, Stories, Life, Mental Illness, Death, Divorce, Love, Hope, Pain, Journey, Honesty, Sex, Mystery, Horror, Art, Experience, Abuse, Addiction, Survival, Coping, Misery, How to love the dark.

sarahpotterwrites

Pursued by the Muses of prose, poetry, and music.

chester maynes

Poetry and Poems

Hand of Ananke

Musings about the world in which we live

Today in Heritage History

Where History Meets Humor

MesAyah - From Pen To Mouth

Nas meets Peter Gabriel for conversations about life

Not Pretending (to be sane)

When Insanity Runs In The Family

Promethean Times

A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Wise Counsel

Giving Life a Meaning!

Jennifer M Eaton

The Home of the Ranting Writer. “Learn from My Mistakes”

Prawn And Quartered

Demented, insane, twisted, and downright nuts...and that's just the site mascot!

Edilio Ciclostile

I buzz into your head

jeandayfriday

Silly ramblings from a silly person

Thirty Years Of Growing Pain(s)

The journey of a "motherless daughter" about to hit 30 and her search for kindred spirits

Tales, Rants, And Observations: Humorous To Heinous

A COLLECTION OF HUMOROUS & HEINOUS PERSONAL EXPERIENCE ESSAYS, SHORT STORIES & SLICES OF OPINION ON RANDOM TOPICS BY A MANIACAL HUMORIST WITH A GOOD HEART **WARNING** IF YOU HAVE AN AVERSION TO SARCASM & SILLINESS PLEASE GO AWAY. "There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt." ~ Erma Bombeck

ashleysthought

Random, Possibly Comedic, Often Offensive, Things That I've Been Thinking

How the Cookie Crumbles

An irreverant view of life after SIXTY-FIVE

Kana's Chronicles

Life in Kanatext (er... CONtext)

146.7

Tales of Fatness, Fabulousness and Frustration

play-grand (or don't play at all)

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is (Ewer than Ewe).” ― Dr. Seuss

mindoverMadness

In a world of chaos, the only way to stay sane is to go Mad.

The Worrywart's Guide to Weight, Sex, and Marriage

Weight, Sex, and Marriage (and Motherhood); aka How to Raise Adrenaline Starved Thrill-seekers and Still be Fat and Happy.

Transitioning Mom

I'm a woman in midlife, transitioning to the "empty nest" years, on the path to rediscovering me. Welcome to my nest!

Post Departum Depression

Coming to terms with my empty nest.

You've Been Hooked!

Observations from the trenches....

beautifuloblivion7

Just another WordPress.com site

Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Simple observations, analysis, and common sense comments

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 218 other followers

%d bloggers like this: