Something for the Weekend (3)

I didn’t do a post for ‘Something for the Weekend’ last week so there is no (2).  I decided to call this (3) since this is the third week of maturestudenthanginginthere‘s virtual creative writing class.  

Melancholia

The afternoon shined like a new penny on black asphalt,

She dropped her paisley scarf over the day to protect her eyes,

The light struggled to burn through,

 But she wasn’t ready to dismiss

The quiet discontent flowing through her veins.

*

She disguised the malaise from others with dark shades and a tilted smile,

The unsettling turmoil inside wasn’t to be shared,

Simply sensing the tainted warmth

Outweighed the pain produced,

The thorned crown belonged to her and it wasn’t to be shared.

About these ads

27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. grand-player
    Feb 25, 2012 @ 06:47:33

    I’ve been there

    Reply

  2. delores
    Feb 25, 2012 @ 06:52:07

    Sounds like a migraine day to me.

    Reply

  3. Jane Thorne
    Feb 25, 2012 @ 09:38:33

    Evocative imagery and yes I can relate to this, a lovely piece.

    Reply

  4. maturestudenthanginginthere
    Feb 25, 2012 @ 09:40:11

    Wow! WHAT A HUGELY POWERFUL PIECE. This is wonderful – and I think I’ve been there too. It’s great that you joined in this week.

    Reply

  5. kewsmith
    Feb 25, 2012 @ 11:02:21

    It seemed like everyone I know was a little down this week. I’m hoping brighter days are ahead for all. Thanks for reading.

    Reply

  6. Smaktakula
    Feb 25, 2012 @ 11:25:45

    It seems like you can never share a crown of thorns, can you?

    Reply

  7. diannejwilson
    Feb 25, 2012 @ 12:46:54

    Beautiful and ouch! Stunning. x

    Reply

  8. notquiteold
    Feb 26, 2012 @ 19:40:26

    I like this very much. I can’t help but play teacher…but since I’m not really in the room, you can roll your eyes – so I will make a suggestion: Think about taking the beautiful first stanza, and the first line from the second stanza — and stop there. It’s very strong.

    Reply

    • kewsmith
      Feb 26, 2012 @ 20:57:37

      You know, your’re right. I was so afraid no one would understand that sometimes it is easier to stay depressed than to be pulled out of it. I also thought maybe I should have done present tense. What do you think? Thanks for your thoughts.

      Reply

  9. notquiteold
    Feb 26, 2012 @ 21:10:09

    I re-read this in present tense… and I think it’s even better….

    Reply

  10. PM
    Feb 27, 2012 @ 04:32:51

    this is so descriptive i can honestly picture it inside my mind happening like a movie!

    Reply

  11. R
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 06:08:06

    Beautiful, I can taste every drop of it.

    Reply

  12. The Hook
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 07:19:29

    Cool concept!

    Reply

  13. Jane Thorne
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 07:46:08

    Hello Karen I love your blog and have passed the Liebster Award onto you..here’s the link http://wp.me/p1l7Si-xB – love to you, Jane x

    Reply

  14. Erik
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 16:31:43

    ooohhh. This was the ‘darkness’ poem. I like it.
    we fall in love with our darkness, don’t we? cherishing the pain so unique to our sins, the sinews within, streaking our vision with effervescent solitary sequestering?

    I would not have gotten how this fine woman clings to her malaise if you’d stopped it early. It would have still been oh so powerful, maybe more so, but sometimes my lazy brain can’t connect deeper so I appreciate you leading us there. I also break most rules through callous poetry so take this with a grain of salt. :)
    thank you for sharing.

    Reply

  15. Trackback: Something for the Weekend (4) « randomreasoning

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Author Who Supports

Connect, Inspire, Dream, Create

Interesting Literature

A Library of Literary Interestingness

Chris Martin Writes

Pressing more into Jesus Christ everyday

Libby Lu

and her Point of View

redpoppyseeds

-And art? -It's a disease. -Love? -It's a disappointment -You are a sceptic. -Defining means limiting.

rajatkumar1069 (drrajatkumar)

I am a Chemistry Professor enjoying English Literary Criticism ,Poetry,Nature,Environment, Human psychology,Art,Intellect and Modern World.

Kindness Blog

Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Personal Reflections and Quotes. Because Kindness Changes Everything.

32:17

"For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me"

Writing Between the Lines

Life From a Writer's POV

JANE THORNE

THOUGHTS FROM A WRITER ......

Muhammad Syanizam

Welcome to my life

maggiemaeijustsaythis

Poetry, Stories, Life, Mental Illness, Death, Divorce, Love, Hope, Pain, Journey, Honesty, Sex, Mystery, Horror, Art, Experience, Abuse, Addiction, Survival, Coping, Misery, How to love the dark.

sarahpotterwrites

Pursued by the Muses of prose, poetry, and music.

chester maynes

Poetry and Poems

Hand of Ananke

Poetry, Prose, Politics and More...

Today in Heritage History

Where History Meets Humor

Espen Stenersrød- From Pen To Heart

Jack Kerouac with a scent of Henry Vaughn

Not Pretending (to be sane)

When Insanity Runs In The Family

Promethean Times

A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Wise Counsel

Giving Life a Meaning!

Jennifer M Eaton

The Home of the Ranting Writer. “Learn from My Mistakes”

Prawn And Quartered

Demented, insane, twisted, and downright nuts...and that's just the site mascot!

Edilio Ciclostile

I buzz into your head

jeandayfriday

Silly ramblings from a silly person

Thirty Years Of Growing Pain(s)

The journey of a "motherless daughter" about to hit 30 and her search for kindred spirits

susserative aspirations

Perfunctory Probability Permutations

Tales, Rants, And Observations: Humorous To Heinous

A COLLECTION OF HUMOROUS & HEINOUS PERSONAL EXPERIENCE ESSAYS, SHORT STORIES & SLICES OF OPINION ON RANDOM TOPICS BY A MANIACAL HUMORIST WITH A GOOD HEART **WARNING** IF YOU HAVE AN AVERSION TO SARCASM & SILLINESS PLEASE GO AWAY. "There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt." ~ Erma Bombeck

ashleysthought

Random, Possibly Comedic, Often Offensive, Things That I've Been Thinking

How the Cookie Crumbles

An irreverant view of life after SIXTY-FIVE

Kana's Chronicles

Life in Kanatext (er... CONtext)

146.7

Tales of Fatness, Fabulousness and Frustration

play-grand

Life is a play-grand. Sometimes we swing for the stars, sometimes we skin our knee.

mindoverMadness

In a world of chaos, the only way to stay sane is to go Mad.

The Worrywart's Guide to Weight, Sex, and Marriage

Weight, Sex, and Marriage (and Motherhood); aka How to Raise Adrenaline Starved Thrill-seekers and Still be Fat and Happy.

Transitioning Mom

I'm a woman in midlife, transitioning to the "empty nest" years, on the path to rediscovering me. Welcome to my nest!

Empty Nest, Full Life

Formerly: PostDepartumDepression Thoughts about the "post Mommy" years of life

You've Been Hooked!

Observations from the trenches....

beautifuloblivion7

Just another WordPress.com site

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 220 other followers

%d bloggers like this: