I didn’t do a post for ’Something for the Weekend’ last week so there is no (2). I decided to call this (3) since this is the third week of maturestudenthanginginthere‘s virtual creative writing class.
Melancholia
The afternoon shined like a new penny on black asphalt,
She dropped her paisley scarf over the day to protect her eyes,
The light struggled to burn through,
But she wasn’t ready to dismiss
The quiet discontent flowing through her veins.
*
She disguised the malaise from others with dark shades and a tilted smile,
The unsettling turmoil inside wasn’t to be shared,
Simply sensing the tainted warmth
Outweighed the pain produced,
The thorned crown belonged to her and it wasn’t to be shared.
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- Something for the Weekend (1) (randomreasoning.net)
I’ve been there
Thanks for reading.
Sounds like a migraine day to me.
Thanks for reading. I enjoyed your submission today.
Evocative imagery and yes I can relate to this, a lovely piece.
Thanks for reading. I love your blog.
Wow! WHAT A HUGELY POWERFUL PIECE. This is wonderful – and I think I’ve been there too. It’s great that you joined in this week.
It seemed like everyone I know was a little down this week. I’m hoping brighter days are ahead for all. Thanks for reading.
It seems like you can never share a crown of thorns, can you?
Sometimes we hang onto our pain. Thanks for reading.
Beautiful and ouch! Stunning. x
Thank you!
I like this very much. I can’t help but play teacher…but since I’m not really in the room, you can roll your eyes – so I will make a suggestion: Think about taking the beautiful first stanza, and the first line from the second stanza — and stop there. It’s very strong.
You know, your’re right. I was so afraid no one would understand that sometimes it is easier to stay depressed than to be pulled out of it. I also thought maybe I should have done present tense. What do you think? Thanks for your thoughts.
I re-read this in present tense… and I think it’s even better….
Thanks!
this is so descriptive i can honestly picture it inside my mind happening like a movie!
Thanks for your comment and thanks ofr reading!
Beautiful, I can taste every drop of it.
Thanks for reading. I’m glad you liked it.
Cool concept!
Thanks.
Hello Karen I love your blog and have passed the Liebster Award onto you..here’s the link http://wp.me/p1l7Si-xB – love to you, Jane x
That means alot because I love your words too. Thank you so much.
ooohhh. This was the ‘darkness’ poem. I like it.
we fall in love with our darkness, don’t we? cherishing the pain so unique to our sins, the sinews within, streaking our vision with effervescent solitary sequestering?
I would not have gotten how this fine woman clings to her malaise if you’d stopped it early. It would have still been oh so powerful, maybe more so, but sometimes my lazy brain can’t connect deeper so I appreciate you leading us there. I also break most rules through callous poetry so take this with a grain of salt.
thank you for sharing.
Thank you. Your comments are always appreciated.
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