I guess it’s time to come clean. I’m not the ‘cool’ mom or the ‘cool’ empty-nester or the ‘cool’ anything. I’m a geek. And not the ‘cool’ geek like the geniuses on “The Big Bang Theory” but the geek that watches ‘TBBT’ and wishes she understood the formulas displayed on the dry erase boards.
Recently, I suspected my ‘geekiness’ because the lady selling eyewear told me the ‘nerdy’ glasses I wanted were half price. I was buying the glasses because I thought they were fashionable. And if you’re thinking maybe the lady was behind the times – no. I still wear clothes I bought before the millennium. I couldn’t tell you what the hot colors are for the coming season. It’s me that’s out of tune.
I’ve learned through the dictionary that you don’t have to be a computer whiz to be a geek. I wouldn’t fit into that category. I’m typing this post for the second time because I lost everything when I tried to download a picture. That’s the kind of computer loser that I am.
I’m also not a carnival geek. The definition from Merriam Webster mentioned biting the heads off of live chickens and snakes. Does that really still go on or does Merriam Webster need to do a serious update on their website?
I’m the other kind of geek, defined by Merriam Webster as, socially inept. I never know what to say at parties and when I start talking, I see eyes glaze over. I don’t understand why people aren’t interested in the fact that National Geographic had a great article on how to improve your memory and remember a complete deck of cards, in order. When I see their disinterest, my response is –
‘No, I can’t do it but it’s unbelievable that someone else can, right?’
‘Was that a yawn?’
‘Didn’t you just come back from the bathroom?’
I really do wish I was the genius geek. Then at least I’d have some credibility. I’m just the odd duck that gets home from parties, wishes she hadn’t gone and worries about what she said, as opposed to, what she should have said. I’m a lot funnier when I’m scripted. At least I think I am. If I had the TARDIS, I’d travel back in time and do much better with small talk. You, too, may be a geek if you know what the TARDIS is.
I like to know a bit about everything and especially if other people in my realm know about it. I constantly make notes. The only good thing about researching all these little things is that sometimes, from out of seemingly nowhere, I get an answer on Jeopardy that I shouldn’t know. Of course the only person I’m impressing is me because, now that the kids are gone, I usually watch Jeopardy alone. I want you guys to know, I can be pretty impressive, and not just because I’m old and have lived through a lot of the history questions.
I guess I should have noticed my ‘geek’ signs a long time ago. They’re pretty evident, right?
So,today I’m coming out of the ‘geek’ closet. I realize life is a lot easier when we are who we are. I’m tired of worrying about becoming a geek. I’m already a geek. I love the Discovery and Science channels. I pay extra to get the Science Channel. I love museums and prefer to go alone so I can take all the time I need to look. And, yes, I have a tremendous crush on the ‘deceased’ Albert Einstein. I have his picture in my office. It makes me smile every time I look at it. I find solace in the fact that he was a geek, too. I think that’s why I’ve always loved him.